From Nebula nominee Jake Kerr comes a daily, full-cast audio serial following Ralan, a street rat turned Guildmaster, as he navigates civil war, political intrigue, and forgotten magic. This pulp-inspired epic weaves a tale of secret societies and ancient dragon lore into a rapidly expanding adventure.
📍 Episode 1 and more information: https://podcastalchemy.studio/...
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Some secrets are worth dying for. Some are worth killing for.
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CREDITS
✍️ Writer: Jake Kerr
🎙️ Showrunner: Jake Kerr
Production Note
This production utilizes the latest technology in content creation, including audio, visual, and production tools powered by AI under the design and direction of showrunner Jake Kerr.
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Want to binge The Thieves Guild with fewer ads? Every Friday night we release a bonus episode of the week's previous five chapters, with fewer ads in between chapters and a seamless listening experience!
Perfect for a weekend binge!
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If you would like to view a map of Ness, you can find it here.
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Check out our other audiobook podcasts!
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No one can be trusted when nothing is real.
This episode includes AI-generated content.
00:00:01
The Thieves Guild
00:00:04
by Jake Kerr
00:00:09
(instrumental music plays) . Episode 86:
00:00:16
A Guard Discovered
00:00:22
(instrumental music plays) . While Mailer was looking for an escape, Darla
00:00:26
had been tidying the cabin and organizing things.
00:00:30
Mailer was conflicted. Their roles had somehow reversed over the past few
00:00:35
days.
00:00:36
Darla had embraced the quiet beauty of the woodlands, while Mailer was
00:00:41
impatient to get away. On the one hand, she wanted to shake Darla
00:00:46
and tell her to focus on the important thing, escape.
00:00:50
But on the other hand, she understood the appeal of quiet domesticity,
00:00:55
especially after they both had a life of hard violence.
00:00:58
Darla, as a mine guard, and Mailer, as a thief
00:01:03
captain, they deserved a break.
00:01:06
And to Darla's credit, she was an appropriate combination of concerned and
00:01:11
challenged by what Mailer had described.
00:01:14
"Did you try every direction?"
00:01:17
Mailer shook her head.
00:01:18
"No, not every direction. I left out the back, the front, and
00:01:23
then another direction near the front.
00:01:25
No matter which direction I left, however, I was returned to the edge of the clearing across from the front
00:01:30
door."
00:01:30
They were sitting at their kitchen table eating dried
00:01:35
strawberries.
00:01:35
"It will probably be the same no matter what direction you go," Darla replied,
00:01:40
waving her hand while she had a strawberry between her thumb and forefinger.
00:01:44
"I have an idea,"
00:01:47
Mailer said, grabbing a handful of strawberries.
00:01:49
"What if the only exit is the road? That was how the wizards left, and that was the
00:01:54
direction where the guard said we would face death.
00:01:57
If every other path leads back to the cabin, that must be the way out."
00:02:01
Darla nodded. "Yes, that makes sense."
00:02:04
"So here is what I was thinking. I'll grab the knife and head down the road, seeing
00:02:09
what kind of guard we will be facing. We could then create a plan based on what I find."
00:02:13
"But what if it's an archer that just shoots you when you pass a certain point?"
00:02:18
"I'll be careful."
00:02:21
Darla dropped her hands to the table and stared at Mailer.
00:02:24
"No."
00:02:25
"What do you mean, no?"
00:02:27
Mailer felt anger rising inside her.
00:02:31
Darla was her partner, her friend, and perhaps even more, but
00:02:35
she was not her mother or guild master.
00:02:38
"It is too dangerous and there is no need."
00:02:41
"What do you mean there is no need? We are prisoners.
00:02:45
We need to find a way to escape."
00:05:16
After
00:05:48
the fourth day, their discussion turned more personal, and the closeness they
00:05:53
shared as they stumbled through the mountain, desperately relying on each other to
00:05:57
survive, turned out to be real.
00:06:00
Mailer had always considered that she favored men, but as she delighted in
00:06:05
Darla dancing around in the filtered sunlight in nothing but a thin tunic,
00:06:10
she realized that it was the opposite that was the case.
00:06:14
She didn't prefer men, men preferred her.
00:06:19
She didn't think much of men that way at all, and their attention created her
00:06:24
default expectation.
00:06:26
She thought she liked men, but that she just wasn't a romantic.
00:06:30
Yet here she was bringing a flower from deep in the forest to Darla for no other
00:06:35
reason than seeing the smile that it would generate.
00:06:39
"Thank you."
00:06:41
Darla threw her arms around Mailer and kissed her on the cheek.
00:06:46
Darla appeared nervous to do more, and Mailer knew it was due to Mailer's own
00:06:51
coldness and uncertainty.
00:06:53
"It reminded me of you: delicate and beautiful, and yet
00:06:57
thriving with resilience and strength in the lonely dark of the forest."
00:07:02
Mailer lowered her face, but looked back up when Darla didn't say
00:07:06
anything. As their eyes met, the reality of their freedom from male
00:07:11
attention and mockery, stifling guild rules and the oppressiveness of
00:07:16
duty was never more obvious. Darla put her arms around Mailer
00:07:21
again, and this time,
00:07:23
she kissed more than Mailer's cheek.
00:07:27
They shoved their beds together in the back room, and Mailer pushed aside thoughts of
00:07:32
escape. She had more important things to focus on.
00:07:36
A week later, she and Darla lay on the grass in front of the cabin.
00:07:40
The top of Darla's head was tucked against Mailer's neck and shoulder.
00:07:45
It was in the middle of their clearing, and was the best spot to view the stars.
00:07:50
Darla loved watching the stars, as she had lived her whole
00:07:55
life without them.
00:07:56
"I love that the most."
00:07:59
Darla pointed to a cluster of stars that didn't have any discernible shape to
00:08:04
Mailer.
00:08:04
"It reminds me of two swords clashing."
00:08:07
"Tell me again of your final test."
00:08:10
Mailer could tell Darla was smiling, even if she couldn't see it.
00:08:14
"What's there to tell? I defeated the captain of the guard."
00:08:18
"The first to do that in years."
00:08:20
"Yes, but it doesn't mean anything."
00:08:24
Mailer knew Darla didn't mean that, even if she didn't admit it.
00:08:28
"Yet you see swords in the stars."
00:08:31
There was a shrug, and then Darla said...
00:08:34
"I wish I could see more. This clearing is nice, but I wonder what's beyond the trees."
00:08:38
"There is a book in the thieves' library about the stars.
00:08:42
It was bright red, which is why I noticed it.
00:08:45
When I opened it, it showed that people would navigate using stars centuries ago."
00:08:49
"Really?"
00:08:51
"Yes. Perhaps they even used the stars to travel on this side of
00:08:56
the mountain." Laughing, Darla replied...
00:09:00
"That's not what I was referring to. I was asking about the library in the thieves' tower.
00:09:05
I've never seen a book before, but I've heard of them."
00:09:07
"There's so much you haven't seen."
00:09:10
Darla didn't reply, and things were quiet.
00:09:13
Mailer broke the silence, which wasn't quite awkward, but was getting there.
00:09:18
"I keep looking for my favorite group of stars.
00:09:22
There are three of them in a row, and they are bright.
00:09:24
I used to see them all the time when I was on night missions, and they were the one constant, no matter where I
00:09:29
was."
00:09:29
"I haven't seen them."
00:09:32
"I think they are lost behind the trees."
00:09:34
"I wish I could have seen them. They brought you happiness in hard times."
00:09:38
And with that comment, Mailer realized where their future
00:09:43
lay: together, but wandering the world.
00:09:47
In Ness, they would not lose their freedom of being together, they would gain the
00:09:52
freedom of being together in Ness.
00:09:55
There was still much for them to experience, together.
00:09:59
The next day, Mailer grabbed the hunting knife and wore a light outfit that would allow
00:10:04
her to walk quietly.
00:10:06
As Darla worked on creating a garden, Mailer started down the
00:10:11
lane. She knew without any doubt that this was the only escape,
00:10:16
the magic of the clearing making any other direction a lost cause.
00:10:21
With that in mind, there would undoubtedly be the guard that she had expected within
00:10:26
the forest.
00:10:28
There was the possibility that the lane itself would be guarded by some magical trap,
00:10:33
so Mailer did her best to be as observant as possible.
00:10:37
The goal of this first trip was to silently approach the guard, or guards, and
00:10:42
assess their strengths and weaknesses.
00:10:44
She would stage an attack, perhaps with Darla's help, in the future.
00:10:49
Mailer stayed in the treeline just beyond the road.
00:10:53
She went very slow, darting with absolute silence from
00:10:58
tree to tree.
00:11:00
Every few trees, she would spend time scanning the forest.
00:11:05
Mailer knew that it was likely the guard would stay on the road, but she couldn't assume that
00:11:10
there wouldn't be some kind of defense or guardian hidden among the trees.
00:11:14
She had been traveling for 30 minutes, and even as slowly and quietly as she
00:11:19
had been moving, she had put a good distance behind her.
00:11:23
The trail was featureless, a wide path of grass and dirt that
00:11:28
wound through the trees.
00:11:30
After examining what lay between her and the next tree, Mailer
00:11:35
assessed the steps she would take. There was a single bush, but she could
00:11:39
avoid it and get to the tree without making any noise.
00:11:43
She had taken a single step when a mighty blow struck her shoulder,
00:11:48
throwing her body completely out of the forest and into the lane.
00:11:53
Her instincts took over, and she scrambled to her feet.
00:11:57
Her right shoulder had dislocated, but popped back into place as she landed.
00:12:02
What was good, if painful, luck wasn't good enough, as she was
00:12:06
right-handed.Grabbing the hunting knife with her left hand, Mailer's eyes
00:12:11
darted around, but there was nothing.
00:12:14
A noise from where she'd been hiding, barely a rustle, caught her attention.
00:12:20
Looking closer, it was the smallest thing that saved her life.
00:12:24
A small patch of grass depressed into the ground, another patch pressed down
00:12:29
barely five feet from her. Leaping to what she felt was just to the right of what
00:12:34
was walking through the grass, Mailer swung her knife in a wide circle.
00:12:39
She felt resistance, and then a glancing blow knocked her to the ground.
00:12:44
Despite the blow just barely hitting her, it was powerful and threw her
00:12:49
several feet. It had at least bruised some ribs, if not broken
00:12:54
them. Whatever the guardian was, it moved slowly.
00:12:59
With a rapidly weakening and hurt body, Mailer grabbed the knife that had fallen from
00:13:04
her hand, scrambled to her feet, and sprinted down the lane back to the
00:13:09
cabin. Stumbling through the front door, she practically fell at Darla's feet,
00:13:14
out of breath and her ribs and shoulder screaming in pain.
00:13:18
By the gods, Mailer, what happened?
00:13:21
Darla grabbed Mailer to lead her to a chair, but her grip was on Mailer's hurt
00:13:26
shoulder, and she cried out.
00:13:28
Letting go, Darla looked at Mailer with a look of concern and uncertainty.
00:13:33
It's okay.
00:13:35
Mailer held up a hand as she grabbed Darla's arm for support.
00:13:40
What happened?
00:13:42
Mailer smiled.
00:13:44
Well, I have two pieces of good news and one of bad.
00:13:48
The good news is that I found the way out.
00:13:50
The bad news is that it is guarded by a massive invisible guardian.
00:13:55
Why would you do such a foolish thing without me?
00:13:58
Darla's voice was half anger, half desperate concern.
00:14:02
Because it was foolish.
00:14:05
I should beat some sense into you.
00:14:08
As if you could.
00:14:09
Darla frowned.
00:14:11
This is not amusing, Mailer.
00:14:14
You forgot to ask me what the other good news is.
00:14:17
You are insufferable. Fine, you can tell me while I walk you to the bed for some rest.
00:14:22
Mailer held up her hunting knife, the blade of which was tacky with
00:14:27
coagulating red blood.
00:14:30
It bleeds.
00:14:34
(dramatic music plays)